Limericks

In the dark in a scene from Footloose,

Lies the grim grafted grin of a goose.

It was so frothing mad,

That it bit Bacon’s dad,

And the cast had to solder a truce.

In the end there was not much to say,

After all the contingencies strayed,

Jack would sweat in the mess,

Of the plans he had missed,

And butt naked, start running away.

While conversing about Interpol,

My studymates noticed a hole.

It was too late for Ed,

And he’s probably dead,

Cuz he wouldn’t yell back when he called.

Dickie McBride at the grocery store,

He wanted some pears but there weren’t anymore

So he took back his cash

And went out on his ass

And he said “what a pearable fate to endure.”

And then there was only the rain,

And the dark and the feeling of pain,

She looked up from the tar

to a faraway star,

When her legs were sliced off by the train.

I adore my deplorable cats,

Though their habits have made them quite fat.

They sit tucked in their home

Like the kitties of Rome,

And like Romans won’t bother with rats.

What I’d do for a morsel of cheese,

I would bring the whole world to its knees.

Instead I must endure

A short walk to the store,

But I’d really prefer options, please.

How long did my beard grow today?

With a ruler, I’d properly say.

But I hop through the hair,

Then I trip down the stairs,

And the ruler’s still three rooms away.