Tyler RaymondFeb 1, 20234 min readWe Need To Invent a Slur For BabiesFor decades, the go-to emasculatory insults for the spineless, craven milksops in our world, men and women alike has been to call them...
Tyler RaymondDec 24, 202245 min readThe Night BirdsEvelyn tossed her wedding ring into the falls with only the eyes of three larks to watch her. It dangled in the air like a falling star,...
Tyler RaymondDec 18, 20222 min readLost at TargetLost in the grocery store. I’m fourteen years old and I’ve misplaced my mother. I ask one of the grocery workers if I’m walking in the...
Tyler RaymondDec 3, 20221 min readHaikusBilliards and balls Knuckles white on wooden stick Mother’s money missed Silver lamp at night Echoing its ancient glow Glimmered in the...
Tyler RaymondNov 23, 20222 min readFar ManSitting in the train, watching airplanes disappear. Love is here, inside this moment. Holding on. You will dance soon on Italian hills....
Tyler RaymondOct 5, 20223 min readHelen KellerNo sooner do I sit in my warm bed and turn on my television to seep into darkness does Hellen Keller show up and start slapping all my...
Tyler RaymondSep 30, 202215 min readSHITTIBANKSHITTIBANK Designed for three players, but can be expanded to as many players as want to play. The players can be any level. Runs as a...
Tyler RaymondSep 23, 20221 min readLimericksIn the dark in a scene from Footloose, Lies the grim grafted grin of a goose. It was so frothing mad, That it bit Bacon’s dad, And the...
Tyler RaymondSep 20, 20224 min read“Pieces”“Atom” And from where did those atoms come, which split? Scraped by a scientist from a coffee table, plucked from bone marrow, taken from...
Tyler RaymondSep 17, 20226 min readThe Rise and Cries of GameTeam RexcorpSo GameTeam Rexcorp finally got the Zoboomafoo license from PBS. It was worth a lot less when the monkey died, god rest his soul (or as...
Tyler RaymondSep 13, 20223 min readFood Should Be BetterI was watching Hell’s Kitchen the other day and all the food on it just looks like shit. It was season 16 I think when everyone was...
Tyler RaymondSep 11, 20227 min readLET US PISS OR BE PISSED UPONLet’s piss on New York, everyone. When I lived briefly in New York I faced a problem that was typical of such a place where in the brief...
Tyler RaymondAug 29, 20226 min readiPhones- Put Food InsideFill the iPhone with chocolate. It’s a great idea. They’re a trillion dollar company, and they waste it on the angular masturbations of...
Tyler RaymondAug 29, 20225 min readHand Dryers are the Devil’s BidetsHand dryers are one of mankind’s worst inventions and they belong in hell to torment the hygienic quarter of the world’s deprecators,...